Try
Trying.
A word I'm very comfortable with using as far back as I can remember. It's a word I used in order to state “although I didn't finish something or start, at least I was trying to complete a task.” The problem is, I usually ended up using the word as an excuse. Saying you're trying and actually trying are two different things.
For years, I would say I was going to reach my goal of losing weight the healthy way. The end result didn't go so well. I would either work out nonstop (when I was struggling with my disorders) or I would do nothing at all (due to my depression and lack of motivation). As I got older, I made a decision to work out and eat the healthy way. I will workout for a few weeks, get lazy or miss a day and then quit all together. Even when you really want something but the motivation isn't there, reaching your goals can seem impossible.
As of today, I am using the word trying as it's correct meaning. I am going to lose weight a healthy way by trying. I will try to work out as planned but not criticize myself if I miss a day. I will try to eat healthy but not punish myself if I have a cheat day. I will do my best to stay on track but if I end up falling off course, I will stop, take a breather and try again. Nothing in life comes easy and every day we struggle to find another piece of ourselves. Our issues and problems need constant work and dedication. Our difficulties will not be solved overnight. Sometimes it even takes years to rebuild and work on ourselves while creating a better life in the process.
I am someone who has dealt with many disorders in my 22 years of life. I have been on a constant roller coaster of emotions since I was 4. I have days and even weeks when I am great and doing amazing. Then there are days when I'm doing bad and start to fall into old habits. I have struggled for years and still do, with this very concept. In order to help myself, I finally started going to therapy. I've wanted to for years but now seemed like the right time. I've only been to one appointment but I already feel a better change is coming into my life.
For my first appointment, I talked about my life story, the things I feel are causing me to lose who I am and the things stopping me from growing. Once I start talking about each issue and breaking them down, I will slowly be able to start accepting, letting go and moving on. I personally know I will not be able to move on with my life in a positive way without letting go of the things that hold me down. I know this is going to be a long process but, in the end, I will be happier and able to strengthen my ability to stand on my own.
Nothing in life comes easy but if we aren't willing to work on ourselves and improve our weaknesses, how will we be able to live our lives in a positive and happy way? I am not saying things won't be hard and problems will never occur in your life, but in challenging and pushing yourself in this process, you are helping to better understand how to handle what comes your way with strength, stability and understanding. You will be able to better handle situations. Instead of running away from your problems, you will feel confident enough to face them head on.
Life is filled with many challenges and we can either run from them or we could face and learn from them. Your life will be filled with more joy, happiness and love, if you acknowledge your issues and just try every day to improve part of your life. You will not change everything overnight but by trying you're already one step closer.
