You Can’t Be A Victim And Heal

I came across the saying, “You can’t be a victim and heal”. I can’t begin to explain how deeply, I connected to this.

For a long time, I played a victim. Now when I say this, I don’t mean you are never allowed to be upset for the circumstances you are placed in but you can take actions to move on and move forward.

I blamed the universe for constantly handing me challenges, I thought I was too weak to face. After I conquered 18 years of mental health, I was struggling with my sexuality. After I found acceptance and who I am, I was thrown another challenge and so on. Although, in the moment, I felt I was never going to survive, I did. Each of these challenges, has made me a stronger person. Now when I am faced with an issue, I have the ability to deal with them proactively.

I think you have to want better for yourself and know you deserve it. For the first time, I’m really starting to love who I am. I’m happier because I’m making decisions that make me happy. I’m following my gut and allowing myself to create the life I want, while facing the challenges brought me way. I’m working on myself every day, taking small steps. Everyone is handed situations in life but the way they handle it, makes all the difference. Two people can be given the same circumstance. One person can handle it negatively and the other can handle it in a positive way. It’s all about perspective. You don’t get to choose what happens to you but you do get to choose how you react and the steps you take toward fixing the issue.

You can be given all the help in the world but you have to be willing to put in the effort and work it takes, to achieve your goals. I want to write books. I can be handed a publisher but I still have to put the time in and work hard to write the actual book. When someone is handed an opportunity, they have to take it and make it a priority.

I was very much that person, who let my past or current circumstances, define who I am. I used to think I wasn’t good enough to date, be friends with, etc. I used to feel bad for myself and almost purposefully, push away the good things I was handed in life. It was easier for me to succumb to a life of negativity, then to take steps to positively change my life.

I stopped looking at myself as a victim and started believing in my ability to kick ass. I know I am a good person, who cares deeply for people. I do my best to stay positive and be the best person I can be. At the end of the day, that’s enough for me. I am worth loving and the opportunities I am given. I have a lot to offer to someone or the universe, I see that now. I don’t need someone else’s validation; I have my own.