A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear younger self, 

         I’m sorry I have led us down this path. I’m sorry it has taken us 10 years to recover. I’m sorry I allowed others to dim the light in our eyes and destroy the fun, loving little girl who once existed. I’m sorry I let them convenience us we were too loud or too much. I’m sorry I allowed us to push down our feelings, catering to the needs of everyone before our own. I’m sorry I let our scars and open wounds affect our future relationships with the people we love. 

         I’m sorry I allowed suicidal thoughts to occur as often as they did. I’m sorry I almost gave up on us and ended it all. I’m sorry I allowed us to feel worthless and not good enough. I’m sorry I allowed us to form into someone we no longer recognized. I’m sorry I was so hard on us all the time; we were broken and I continued to pretend we were put together. I’m sorry I continued to seek approval from everyone but us. 

         I’m sorry I let them take away all the amazing things we love about ourselves. I’m sorry I didn’t love us enough to believe we deserved love. I’m sorry I let us starve on days when we were hungry and had pains in our stomach. I’m sorry I caused us so many mental and physical health problems, I am still working on correcting. I’m sorry I allowed us to hide our quirky characteristics and amazing talents. I’m sorry I made us believe we had to earn every ounce of love given to us. 

I’m sorry I allowed us to take the blame for the things that weren’t our fault. I’m sorry I ignored our intuition and choose the wrong choice every time. I’m sorry I let others determine who we would grow up to be. I’m sorry I let us fall apart, time and time again. I’m sorry I didn’t take care of us and let us go through this for so long. 

I’m sorry but I’m fixing things. I won’t let us go through this anymore. We didn’t deserve it and I promise you, I am healing us and will continue to do so. I’m putting us first and I know our worth now. I promise I am going to take care of us from now on. We are 10 years good in a couple of days, we made it bud. I love you.  

                                                               Sincerely,

                                                                       Your older self