Labels
For the longest time, I would never call myself gay or a lesbian. And part of me expressed to others I shouldn’t have to label myself. After years of being openly gay, I realized I didn’t want to label myself because I was scared too.
I was scared of the negative attention brought in by this word. I was scared of all the shootings and bombings at pride parades. I was scared of never being comfortable enough to date a woman or hold her hand in public. I was scared of the thought that being who I am, might result in my life ending.
Today, I am as open as it gets about my sexuality. I own who I am. I love who I am. I’m going to date a woman and hold her hand in public. I am going to marry a woman someday. I am going to start a family with her. Will I still be scared? Yes, of course I will be.
Even when we look at the world we live in today, progress has been made but there is still setbacks. The world is a scary place but I’ve decided to be who I am, regardless of the fear behind my labels. I love who I am and I love the freedom that also comes along with being gay.
June is pride month, so I only found this a fitting topic to speak about. Labeling myself gay has been the biggest and worst part of my life over the past 5 years. Although labeling myself gay has created fear, it has also created a safe space.
This word taught me to love myself for exactly who I am. I was taught how to stick up for myself, to fight for something important to me. I was taught to believe in who I am. Being gay is not who I am but it is a part of who I am.
This word has helped me grow, change my views and feel accepted. This word has brought me together with some of my favorite people or as I refer to them “my lesbians”. I connected to good people who accept everything about me.
They have taught me I am more than my sexuality. They have helped me to embrace the good and the bad traits. Fear is always going to exist but we can’t allow it to stop us from living an authentic life. I love who I am and labeling myself gay isn’t a sexuality thing. It’s a label I have chosen to give myself to represent a part of me that finally feels accepted and free to exist in this world, judgement free.
It has allowed me to accept everything I am and stand for. And no one needs to label themselves if they don’t want to. I choose to because it makes me happy and forced me to look at myself for the first time. It has helped me to find inner happiness and own exactly who I am. Be who you are, all of you, every day without apologies.
Happy pride month 🌈
